Alors, c'est ma vie!

There are two kinds of relationship.
Friends.
Family.
Please do tell me if there's more.

Friends are people you decide to keep forever or to cut clean with.
Best friends.
Just friends.
Barely friends.
One day you are together, the other you're not.

Family, on the other hand, isn't your choice to make.
They stick to you no matter you like it or not.
They'll always be there, like they say, "till death do us part."

Honey, that's why you need to pound on every word you choose.
You can easily hurt people and the pain won't go away.
It won't go away no matter if you delete the mails or not. 
It won't go away no matter how many times you say you're sorry.

I can easily cut clean with a friend, and I won't regret. 
But you are so much different.
I already lost a sister, and I don't want to lose you, too.  Do you know that?
I'm not going to let you know that I cried over your mail, and I'm not going to let you know how much tear I shed during the past three days.
Even though I already know you didn't really mean what you said, the words you chose are still killing me.

Do me a favor. 
Read whatever you're writing to me again before you hit SEND in future.
Goodwill hurts, and so does mindlessness.

今天是上班的第一天

感想很多

但是太睏了

而且，我還是決定明天要上八點的班

所以...先去睡覺再說

                                To be continued... 

Of course I'm always crazy busy

but I just spent a three-day sun-shining holiday back in Tainan

I really had a good time.

During these three days

I've had some thoughts and I've made up my mind

Actually, I always know what I should do

the problems are how and when

Tonight, Caroline dropped by my office

she told me that she's heading back to Scotland

she's inviting me to come along

To be very honest, sure, I'm interested

but if I'm to apply for it, I'll have to do it now

I'll see what I can do

I've been working around the clock for a couple months, ever since S left.

There's no other way we could make things different, really.

Working for almost 20 hours per day in average, and I still don't see an end coming up.

The sunny side? 

I don't see it coming yet, either.

Looking forward to my vacation, IF it's coming.

之前的頭髮真的很長唷

快要碰到腰了

所以每一次吹頭髮的時間

都比洗頭髮的時間更長

也更讓我痛苦

終於這次狠下心來剪短了它

一剪就剪到肩牓

雖然是我的主意要剪

但是一下看到地上的我的頭髮

心裡還是有點後悔

剪完頭髮之後

立刻就有靜姐姐陪著吃飯

隔天V小尼陪逛街

兩人都說好看

但我心中還是半信半疑的

招牌長髮不見了

對我來說還是大件事

那天回到家照著鏡子

心情還是有點低落

幸好今天一進辦公室

就得到熱烈的支持

一句話說三次

假的也會變成真

不信就去問曾媽媽

總之，我現在是很相信新髮型很適合我的唷

下班前收到一通電話

明天中午要和老大的老大吃飯

〈雖然我並不知道老大是不是把他當老大看〉

Why me?

There are a whole lot of people wanting it.

Why me?

I am not even looking forward to it.

Why me?

I just want to be nobody instead of somebody.

Maybe I'll just be sick tomorrow? 

When I told you that, babe, you must understand I'm never lying.

I'm never ambitious.

And it's not even my goal to be here.

Especially whenI know what things may be like when someone stands out.

True. 

It'll be such a pleasure to be under the spotlight.

It'll be such an honor to be regarded as "her crew".

But I also see the pressure accompanies along the way.

Not to mention all the tricks, the plays, the thoughts, the calculating, and all the people.

And you.

I saw you suffering all the way through.

Just, on that time, I was merely an outsider.

"But what if the show was mine?"

This idea freaks me out. 

You know me.

I'm more like a layback person than an eager one.

The only reason I took this job was to afford my living, but I don't want it to be my life.

If I've got a choice, didn't you think I'd rather be a non-productive person who spent most of the time wasting it on nothing important?

I've been hearing things.

The nicknames they gave me, or the signs those great prophets saw.

"They're nothing but future in the crystal ball," I said to myself.

But if, I mean if, the time comes, will I be strong enough to fight for myself?

Will I stand the idea of letting her down?

When I'm thinking about this, I couldn't help coupling myself with Andrea, and coupling she with SHE.

Andy quit to win her life back.

Will I be brave enough to start over again? 

I have no answers to my own questions.

I'll keep fighting the thoughts until that day, which you're pretty sure of coming while I'm still trying to make up my mind either agreeing or denying.

I'll do my best to have an answer with me.

Gee! I'm not ambitious at all. 

本來是個休假日的

而且也約好了要出門

沒想到身體不適，連動都不想動

晚上六點，該進辦公室了

但是好想乾脆休個一整天算了

但是我自己心裡知道

該做的事還沒做完

該回的電話還在等我撥

請假只是飲鴆止渴

認命的去上班

身體熱熱的

『千萬不要被傳染到這次的感冒了』

我一直這樣跟自己說

但是腦袋裡面一直聽到Ｊ說：『無人倖免』

明天來煮今年的第一鍋薑湯好了

自從12月中的大型寫作演說活動結束後

整個人開始進入一個慵懶的境界

比賽之前，主管看著我就連吃個三明治都要分三次

很豪氣的說

『Karen，比賽完之後讓你天天休假』

雖然不可能真的天天窩在家裡不用上班

但是至少每隔一兩天都可以再晚個兩三個小時才進辦公室

說實話我也不知道我在家的時間都浪費在哪裡

所以今天趁著我又休假

默默的從旁觀察一下自己

早上七點半自然醒..沒辦法，生理時鐘已經定了

欺負一下小孩，餵他吃個早餐，再繼續睡回籠覺

十一點半，又醒，但是在床上翻來翻去，被窩太舒服了

十二點半，終於起來了，洗了一個又慢又暖的熱水澡

花很長很長的時間煮午餐

雖然很冷，但很想吃雞蛋沙拉，所以昨天晚上特別跑去買馬鈴薯

為了顏色漂亮，加了半顆帶皮的蘋果

味噌湯我就算天天喝也不會膩的

平常只會放一些些肉片和蘿蔔

今天為了營養，加了我最不喜歡的洋蔥

呃~~真難過

一邊等馬鈴薯悶爛的時候

一邊吹頭髮並用吹風機欺負小孩

順便給他拍了幾張照片

因為小孩討厭吹風機的聲音

但又愛黏著人

只好乖乖的坐遠遠的看

才會出現難得一見的文靜照片 

我和T笑說

這是要拿去相親用的照片

悠閒的吃午餐〈都是下午茶時間了〉

小孩就在旁邊完耍

他今天新發現的玩具是我的舊皮帶

眼睛一撇，怎麼皮帶上有紅紅的點點呢

才發現小孩連嘴角也是紅紅的

以為他哪裡受傷

仔細一看，他竟然玩到牙齒都掉下來

後來上網查看

原來動物也是會掉乳牙的呀

抓來撥嘴巴一看

果然紅紅的地方已經有另一個更小的犬齒長出來了

超可愛的

雖然很想要拍張照片當紀念

但是我本來就雙拳難敵他四爪

更別說要騰出一隻手來拿相機

只好將可愛的小乳牙拍下來充個數 

 小不拉嘰的

 不比一隻蚊子大

 小孩，你連牙齒都好可愛呀

奇怪，本來我不是要說我家的小孩的事的呀..... 

陷入無止境的低潮期

滿街的熱情都聽不進

心理沮喪的要擠出水來

眼角好像也有點濕濕的

理智卻提醒自己「明天有場重要的簡報」

今天在辦公室裡和Ｊ小小聲的說話

差一點就在眾人面前哭了出來

羞愧中